- 1st and foremost I feel so good--physically & mentally. Sure I'm still adjusting to this new life of mine, but dang it I am happy. I don't hurt everywhere all the time, I can climb the stairs to my office without sounding like I'm dying when I reach the top landing, I don't feel ashamed or guilty about my eating. I am actually starting to like me a lot more than I have in a very long time.
- My company began a focus on wellness about a year and 1/2 ago and every time they had a wellness function, somehow I was always "too busy" to participate. Well, today I not only attended, but participated in the "Walk In the 80's". Granted I still am not at the point where I could complete the full mile, I did complete a 1/2 mile and increased my daily exercise duration by a full 5 minutes. In addition, I was completely overwhelmed by the positive feedback and encouragement I received from all of my coworkers. Next event, I plan on leading the pack! lol
- Earlier this week, I had an extremely stressful moment and, since I quit smoking the day before my sleeve, I didn't have cigarettes or food to deal with the issue, momentarily I was at a complete loss as to what to do to deal with the stress and anxiety. I made the decision to get dressed (I was in my PJ's), put on my sneakers, and pound the stress into the pavement. And don't you know it, after lapping my block a few times, not only was the stress and anxiety gone, but I felt stronger and more empowered than I have in years.
- I saved the best for last. Last night as my family and I made our evening walk (yes, I'm dragging the whole lot of them into this healthy lifestyle!), my 12 year old daughter looked at me and said, "Mom, I am so proud of you for everything you have ever done. Especially how good you are doing with eating and exercising. You don't know how happy I am for you." And yes, the tears flowed again even as I typed this.
Friday, May 18, 2012
One Month Sleevaversary
Today is my offical One Month Sleevaversary and I have so much to celebrate.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
A Momentous Day
Yesterday marked a truly momentous day for me. Not only did the day mark exactly 4 weeks since my sleeve (Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy), but I had my first real "Aha" moment. Are maybe it could better be described as an "Oh shit!" moment....
Did I mention that being the overachiever that I am, that not only did I have WLS, but I decided to quit smoking at the same time. Yep, figured if I could go the two weeks of my surgeon's required pre op liquid protein diet without even cheating once, I could give up cigarettes and make a real commitment to my overall health and well-being. I must admit, until yesterday, wasn't even having a real issue with the smoking thing. Until...
Until I had to cope with an issue--one of the many demons a WLS patient must actually confront head on. Yes, the sleeve has provided me an awesome tool with which to enable me the power to achieve my weight loss goals. But what the sleeve can't do, is manage the "head hunger" for me--the eating as a coping mechanism. That's right, unlike what I've told myself over the past 18 years, I'm didn't get this fat just because I'm a "foodie" and I truly love food. Nope, turn on the Food Network, lots of slim foodies on there. Part of the reason I got this fat was because I used food as a coping mechanism. Wonderful delicious food provided pleasure while also helping to shove those problems and issues I didn't want to deal with wwwwaaaayyyy down. Then I could focus on guilt for overeating or making bad food choices instead. Or maybe focus on the physical and emotional pain that being over 300 pounds deals on a daily basis. Focus on anything but solving the problem. And if the food didn't medicate me enough, there was always a cigarette to help with the stress.
When the moment came last night I was lost. Seriously, I was floundering, I had no clue what to do. I couldn't eat--okay, I could've eaten, but I knew that with my sleeve, I wouldn't be able to eat enough to shove this issue down and to make matters worse, I had no cigarette to spark up to deal with the stress I was feeling. What to do, what to do, what to do????? I know...I got dressed ( I was already comfortably in my PJ's at this point), put on my sneakers, and I went for a walk. Not just a walk, I walked fast, and furious and with purpose. Not only that, but I felt and I dealt. I thought over the situation, I mulled over my anger & frustration, and I made a decision to find my voice and stand up for me. But guess what else--I felt better. There was no guilt and no anger at myself. I actually felt empowered. Yes indeed, I am woman, hear me roar!!! I felt pride--pride at faciing this head on, finding my voice, not crumbling and falling apart, at feeling good and strong and powerful. And what a workout I got!!
Victory is mine...
Did I mention that being the overachiever that I am, that not only did I have WLS, but I decided to quit smoking at the same time. Yep, figured if I could go the two weeks of my surgeon's required pre op liquid protein diet without even cheating once, I could give up cigarettes and make a real commitment to my overall health and well-being. I must admit, until yesterday, wasn't even having a real issue with the smoking thing. Until...
Until I had to cope with an issue--one of the many demons a WLS patient must actually confront head on. Yes, the sleeve has provided me an awesome tool with which to enable me the power to achieve my weight loss goals. But what the sleeve can't do, is manage the "head hunger" for me--the eating as a coping mechanism. That's right, unlike what I've told myself over the past 18 years, I'm didn't get this fat just because I'm a "foodie" and I truly love food. Nope, turn on the Food Network, lots of slim foodies on there. Part of the reason I got this fat was because I used food as a coping mechanism. Wonderful delicious food provided pleasure while also helping to shove those problems and issues I didn't want to deal with wwwwaaaayyyy down. Then I could focus on guilt for overeating or making bad food choices instead. Or maybe focus on the physical and emotional pain that being over 300 pounds deals on a daily basis. Focus on anything but solving the problem. And if the food didn't medicate me enough, there was always a cigarette to help with the stress.
When the moment came last night I was lost. Seriously, I was floundering, I had no clue what to do. I couldn't eat--okay, I could've eaten, but I knew that with my sleeve, I wouldn't be able to eat enough to shove this issue down and to make matters worse, I had no cigarette to spark up to deal with the stress I was feeling. What to do, what to do, what to do????? I know...I got dressed ( I was already comfortably in my PJ's at this point), put on my sneakers, and I went for a walk. Not just a walk, I walked fast, and furious and with purpose. Not only that, but I felt and I dealt. I thought over the situation, I mulled over my anger & frustration, and I made a decision to find my voice and stand up for me. But guess what else--I felt better. There was no guilt and no anger at myself. I actually felt empowered. Yes indeed, I am woman, hear me roar!!! I felt pride--pride at faciing this head on, finding my voice, not crumbling and falling apart, at feeling good and strong and powerful. And what a workout I got!!
Victory is mine...
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
WTH am I thinking?????
Soooooo, as I begin this journey, I've decided to create a blog. Really? Hmmmmm, wth am I thinking? Sharing my innermost thoughts and feelings with strangers and the like???? We shall see...
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